I’m dealing with my youngest going to school soon really well.
I mean, I thought I had tonsillitis but it turns out to be a permanent lump in my throat from suppressed tears.
And there was that one incident where I went bat shit crazy for three weeks and made all sorts of terrible decisions and ended up with the husband patting me on the back and gently asking if it was ‘anything to do with Alex starting school soon?’
But other than that I’m totally chipper!
Today was a Thursday like any other so we bowled off to playgroup and then I realised…it was our last.ever.playgroup.
I held it together when one of the lovely volunteers poured me a cup of tea and offered me a Pink Wafer.
I held it together when we played kitchens and Alex ‘Masterchef’ SecondBorn made me a delicious sandwich.
I snivelled a bit when Alex and a crew of kids played outside together whilst I nattered to my Thursday PlayGroup Friends – some of whom are now in my phone and in my heart forever and some of whom I know I will never see again and I will forever wonder if Natalie will set a PB on the 10k she’s been training for or if Amy will find a job in Science that suits childcare hours or if little Jack’s warts will ever clear up.
I will never know.
A whole other generation of parents will be crafting and creating and fancy dressing and picking play-doh out of their shoes whilst I’m school-running and washing PE kits.
I finally lost my resolve when Alex was called up for a special goodbye song. He came back to his seat, proud as punch, and sat primly with his hands folded on his lap and sang along to nursery rhymes.
With watery eyes, I gazed at the back of his neck and saw in that moment how happy he will be at school.
And the tears whooshed because am so happy for him but so sad for me.
I am going to miss my playgroup pal, shopping trolley driver, cafe and cake comrade, mooch about house other half and little nattering kind soul. He’s a real cracker.