Since deleting the app, I’ve filled my time in the following ways:
I’m obsessed with a nest of birds in our rose bush and cried actual tears when a hatchling died.
I’ve grown sweetcorn from seeds and nurture them with Prince Charles levels of nursery rhymes and affection. Just planted them outside and it was like watching your child go off to school.
I’ve become OBSESSED with a mouse hole that’s popped up in my strawberry patch. I mercilessly set out bait then wept when I found a baby mouse dragging its back feet and shitting blood. Got dad to smack it with a spade and euthanise it.
I’m now googling what’s eating my strawberries: the mice are dead- now I’m out for the slugs.
And don’t get me started on my tumultuous relationship with the tomatoes. #needy