Toy Planning Meeting: minutes


Edward. Michael. Tony. Ian. Steven. Brenda on tea and minutes.


All childless but two have nephews so therefore considered qualified to comment.


Tony: Right. Welcome all. Thanks for coming to this week’s brain-storming session.

Edward: I don’t think we can say ‘brain storming’ any more. I’d feel more comfortable if we called these meetings ‘Idea Crafting’.

Tony: Right. Very good. Don’t want the Guardian readers getting wind. Let’s Idea Craft, then chaps!

All eyes to Brenda who is vigorously note-making

And you, of course, Brenda!

Brenda keeps eyes on her notebook and tightens grip on her pencil.

Michael: Just to jump right in, I’ve been thinking we need something extra special now Christmas is coming round the corner: I’m thinking buttons, songs, movements, flashing lights….

Ian: Heck yeah! Something that comes in a huge box so they’ll see it under the tree and nag to open first!

Steven: Could it play some kind of a jingle or a tune…?

Met with general murmur of approval.

Steven: It could kind of be something repetitive. Catchy. Get all the kids singing it. Maybe we could make a YouTube video that’ll go with the toy. Make it go viral.

Edward: Yes, mate! My sister is always humming Baby Bum songs! She’ll love this!

Tony: We will need to audition singers. Brenda- can you write that as an action point? Make a note to either have nauseating American woman or out of tune English man singing. Ta, love.

Edward: Hold on- won’t all the singing and lights and flashing things mean this toy will get through a lot of batteries?

Murmur of agreement.

Michael: It’ll need at least eight in to work.

Steven: And they will have to held in by whatever type of screw you don’t have the screwdriver for. That’ll need some deep consumer research on.

Tony: Brenda- action point.

Edward: And I know my nephews always fight to play with the noisiest toy so the batteries will wear out really quickly.

Tony: This is excellent

Steven: I will phone Adrian at Duracell and make them aware of our commitment to the deal we made with them last Christmas.

Tony: Action point, Brenda


Tony: Please remove last minute, Brenda. We don’t want the partnership getting leaked.

General guffawing.

Tony: Any other ideas, chaps? We’ve got to keep ahead of those competitors over at Confusico Instructo- those gits are all over Smyth Toy Superstore.

Michael: Well, I’ve been blue sky thinking about this idea for a toy with lots and lots of small parts…

Great work, buddy!

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