18 Signs Your Children are Middle Class

They own a Microscooter

They’ve moaned about ‘bits’ in their orange juice.

They’ve danced to The Archers theme tune

Their bedroom walls are painted in tasteful greys.

They’ve been bought school shoes from John Lewis.

They’ve read Arthur Ransome and/or Enid Blyton

They have porridge for breakfast.

Both sets of grandparents have an Aga.

They call it supper.

They have a museum pass/ National Trust membership.

They know the meaning of any of the following: bifold doors, Waitrose, organic, butter dish, Nutribullet, underfloor heating, sushi.

They’ve asked whether they should make a Christmas card for the cleaners.

They’ve had their noses blown on cotton handkerchiefs.

When they grow up they want to be an architect or a doctor.

They have parents who’ve moved somewhere ‘for the schools’

They have a mild air of entitlement.

You go for bike rides at the weekend

You all own wetsuits

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