Six Times You Are Not #parentingtheshitoutoflife 

1) When you get pissed on. 

And then you have to put a wash on so you’re punished twice. 

I use the cycle time as a countdown to bedtime #2.59hourstogo

2) When you forget it’s non-school uniform day/World Book Day/bake sale 

They may have sent a reminder letter, email and message in the sky but you can’t be expected to remember everything. 

3) When you tell your five year old you’ve run out of ReadyBrek and he says ‘for fuck’s sake’ under his breath.

Must’ve heard it at school. 


Shit gets real

4) Whenever you get a ‘gentle reminder’ to pay last month’s nursery fees. 

It was an admin error…

5) When you’re on school pick up and the teacher says ‘can I just have a quick word?’

Oh god.  

6a) When they’re in the bath by 3.45pm 

Because when they’re in their pjs it’s ok to let them watch telly til bed. Right?

‘Mum, is it even lunchtime yet?’

6b) When Netlix is passive aggressive about your parenting choices Netflix might judge you, but I never   will. 

Any others that I’ve missed? Leave in the comments your Parent of the Year moments so I can feel reassured I’m not the only one not winning it but winging it. 

4 thoughts on “Six Times You Are Not #parentingtheshitoutoflife 

  1. 1) Bribing the child to sit still with biscuits so you can finish your wine at the ‘Tots Disco’
    2) using reins (apparently that’s bad…i think it’s better than him getting squashed by a vehicle or lost/abducted).
    3) Feeding child anything as he just won’t eat this week (I did hide some spinach in a pizza today).
    4) Actively encouraging cbeebies love especially in the morning…mid day and…ummm evening.

  2. – when my 18 tells me that the 9 year old has been upstairs in her room on the laptop till midnight for the last month because I’ve been in bed at 9 and haven’t thought to check/say goodnight – must deal with that at some point
    – when my 16 year old son smokes roll ups (and probably something else) out in the garden unchallenged
    – when I give the 2 year old crisps for the 3rd time in a week because I can’t face clearing up a baked bean food fight
    – when my 18 year old tells me she’s going to the doctor because she’s had anxiety all her life and wants to deal with it before she goes to university and has tried to tell me about it several times

    Just a few of this week’s gems that remind me that I’m tired and not giving enough wholesome parenting to my kids #fuckit #hopetheyturnoutokintheend

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