An Oliver Guide to a Wholesome Activity

1) Choose your moment 

Everyone knows the hours after the school run and before TV time are the best hours of the day to* attempt a high risk, high input task. 

Pale with exhaustion? Manic eyes? Perfect!

2) Be prepared 

Or not and have to go to One Stop with the 8million other school children spending their lunch money on Refresher bars. Buy ingredients/craft tools. 

3) Be wholesome!

Enjoy the six minutes before everyone loses interest. 

4) Let them eat cake(mixture)

Remember the injustice of not being allowed to lick the bowl as a child so find an egg-free recipe. Sally-1, Salmonella-0.

So. Friggin. Wholesome.

4) Survey the damage

The kids have drifted off. You’re knee deep in flour and washing up. You remember why you don’t do crafts. 

Don’t worry, I’ll do it.

5)  Ta da!

Present to the beloved the newly bathed/hosed down kids and their delightfully iced cake and the sparkling kitchen.  Feel smug. Feel accomplished. Until the sugar rush hits and someone gets smacked with a spoon. FFS. 

*cry/consider divorce/break up fights by shouting RIGHT! NO PAW PATROL TONIGHT AND I MEAN IT!

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