Big sis

Holding me close and making me laugh since ’84
Because I’m a self-involved youngest child, I’ve never really thought about what a massive responsibility it is to be a big sister and how masterfully my own fulfills the role.

So now I’m taking the time to thank her: Hannah, thank you for going first and leaving love and advice in your wake. You ROCK it as a big sister. Through snow suits to power suits, you have held my hand and, at times, my hair while I vommed up cider.

Sal, this feels like a metaphor

My night-time beauty rituals

So, loads of you guys have been asking me ‘how do you look so young and radiant, Ms O?’ So I’ve put together a little vlog (what is a vlog?) to show you how I get ready for bed each night. Enjoy guys!

First, I look at the pile of bath toys Alex throws in every night while he’s brushing his teeth and wonder why we never got the shower fixed despite it breaking four and a half years ago.

Always wash your brushes

Next, I continue my pre-bed relaxation by climbing to the top floor of the house and stare at my son’s nighttime wee as I wait for the water to warm up.

In the shower I like to use some luxury products. I’m really lucky because I get loads of potential sponsors sending me products to try. My fave is this empty bottle of my husband’s eczema-friendly shower gel.


As you’ve probably seen from my snapchat, I love my super soft Asda puff. Unfortunately, I’d forgotten I’d used it to mop up spilt coffee earlier that day and had to do the mid-shower dash n grab to get it. 

As soon as I’m out of the shower I like to cleanse, exfoliate and remove all traces of the make up I put on the day before yesterday.

I simply smear it off with my Egyptian cotton towels

Finally, I light a scented candle and slip in to something sensual in case my hubby comes home from badminton early.

Links in bio for pjs. Jumper bespoke by Granny Ruth

Brilliant blog posts on

The Dreaded Phonecall

I got ‘the phone call’ today. I was in full swing teaching year 9 when I see William’s school’s phoning me. Uh oh.

Yup. William’s vommed across the playground.

In quick succession, I had the following thoughts:

Fuck I wish my parents lived nearby.

What the hell can I set for cover?

Oh god He’s going to have to be off school for the next TWO DAYS

And then I thought of him all soppy and sad and sitting in school reception waiting for me and in a flurry of photocopying and begging gorgeous friends to cover my lessons for me, I made a dash for it.

”If I’m not going to school tomorrow how am I going to give them back their sick bowl?’ He genuinely asked between bouts of puking.